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Advice to Beginning
Mentors
by Barry W. Sweeny, © 2008
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- Here is a collection of ideas
developed by the author, initially from comments made in a focus
group of experienced mentors. Of course, these have been added
to and refined in extensive practice. Find a way to share these
within your program and let the experience of dozens of highly
effective mentors be a benefit to your mentors and proteges.
1. ALWAYS BE POSITIVE AND SUPPORTIVE - The ability of the protege
to grow is dependent on self esteem, which is not at- risk when
ASKING for advice, but which IS often decreased by unsolicited
"constructive advice." Almost always your desire to
"suggest" meets your needs more than the
protege's. If you really question a practice, ask questions
to reveal the protege's thinking behind the decisions and model
for the protege the questions they need to be asking themselves.
2. THE PROTEGE DETERMINES HOW MUCH HELP YOU CAN BE - Your success
as a mentor is dependent on the protege's readiness and openness
for learning. If you offer advice before the right time, it
probably can't be understood or used yet by the protege. Remember,
you'll only be able to offer an idea once or twice before doing
it again is uncomfortable. Wait until the need is felt by the
protege too, or seek ways to help the protege become aware of
their need to learn whatever it is you see is needed.
Using data the protege analyzes and interprets is often the
best way to make that happen..
3. BE WILLING TO "BACK OFF"- You'll make mistakes
of timing or approach even when your ideas may be very good
and very needed. Be open about asking the protege for feedback
when that happens and learn from it. Don't create an impression
of "pushiness" because that won't be seen by the protege
as meeting a need they have.
4. DON'T TAKE REJECTION OF IDEAS PERSONALLY- More often than
not rejection relates to the protege's readiness to learn and
is a valuable clue about how to design your work with the protege.
5. CONTINUALLY REINFORCE THE CONFIDENTIAL NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP
- Thank your protege for confidences and personal sharing. Affirm
that these are signs of a deepening relationship and trust which
a mentor knows (s)he must earn. Reinforce that this trust is
the foundation needed for the risk taking so necessary for trying
new things and learning in front of each other.
6. RECOGNIZE THE NEED FOR TIME TOGETHER OUTSIDE OF WORK - Plan
some social times and allow for the protege's other areas of
life. Don't overdose on help.
7. OFFER TO SUPPORT SUPERVISORY EFFORTS WITH THE PROTEGE, and
helping the protege to improve, but be careful not to assume
responsibilities that belong to the evaluator.
8. BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT DISCUSSING THE PROTEGE WITH SUPERVISORS
- Even the perception that this has happened can "close
doors" with proteges. Just let the supervisor know the
discussion makes you uncomfortable, that you have a confidential
relationship with the protege (and why that's crucial), and
ask to meet with you and the protege together instead.
9. PLAN AHEAD SO YOU ARE AVAILABLE DURING BUSY TIMES - Busy
times for your protege will come at just the time you are busiest
too, so anticipate when this could happen, get your own work
done ahead of time so you can say "yes" and collaborate
when the opportunity arises.
10. FOCUS ON THE PROTEGE'S NEEDS - When it is clear what the
protege needs to learn focus on that. When it is not clear what
the emphasis should be, pay attention to statements which reveal
the protege's CBAM Stages of Concern.* These provide you with
clues as to what mentor response is appropriate.
11. MOTIVATE PROTEGES TO THINKING FOR THEMSELVES - Use questions
to promote higher level thinking and self-assessment by the
protege and to reveal to them the underlying reasons for decisions.
Take the time to discuss these reasons.
12. PLAN WAYS TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER - Plan lunch "getaways",
formal or spontaneous social events with other staff, and joint
work sessions. All of these allow for greater sharing and building
of trust.
13. When confronted by a
challenge for which you cannot determine an appropriate rsponse
or for which you feel inadequate to help, contact and seek support
from the Mentor Program Coordinator. Another option for your support
is other mentors, especially during the quarterly Mentor Peer
Support Meetings. Just be careful not to reveal confidnces without
the protege's permission.
* Stages of Concern are a component of the Concerns - Based Adoption
Model (CBAM), the model the author teachers mentors during mentor
training.
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